GP

GP

She ran away when She was 13 years old Nobody filed a Missing person’s report

Got in with a driver

Al the things that he did

Made her convict uncle

Look like a picnic

She thought someone 

Would rescue her

She thought the world would care

But they just took advantage

Like they do everywhere

GP you’re a goddess

You’re an angel so fare

A beautiful flower

So delicate and rare

I’ve seen you blossom

After all you’ve be through

There’ll never be another girl

I love like you

She did an interview

When she was eighteen

A documentary

About runaway teens

Thought they agreed

Not to show her face

But she was exposed

To the whole human race

Pimps and police

Could find her now

And she tried to go

Hospital never told her

What she did not want to know

GP you’re a goddess

You’re an angel so fare

You are a flower

So delicate and rare

I’ve seen you blossom

After all you’ve be through

Never be another girl

I love like you

She now had a baby

Growing inside her womb

Last thing she wanted 

Baby hung up too

She kicked cold turkey 

And never looked back

Left the windy city

Sold a ton of land

She made her millions

Just couldn't make it stay

Hard to hold on when you

Keep running away

GP you’re a goddess

You’re an angel so fare

You are a flower

So delicate and rare

I’ve seen you blossom

After all you’ve be through

Never be another girl

I love like you

An airline attendant

A cruise ship host

Funeral director

She doesn’t boast

Just try'n to live a life

Be happy somehow

Baby's all she has

All she needs for now

One day she'll find the one

Who's meant to be

Who understands everything

And sets her soul free

GP you’re a goddess

You’re an angel so fare

A beautiful flower

So delicate and rare

I’ve seen you blossom

After all you’ve be through

Never be another girl

I love like you

Fantasy Girl

It's a good thing 

you come to your senses, 

fantasy girl.

Imagine what it could be 

with your fantasy man

if he weren't just bits and bytes

on your computer screen,

and you could have him 

the way you have him in your mind.

If he could touch your body

the way he touches your soul

If you could cry out to him

and he could hear

If you could put your hand on his chest 

and feel his heart pounding for you

If you could lick his tongue

and taste his delicious words

You don't mean to give him 

more than a fantasy

but bit by bit  

he gets real pieces of you

until he's in your heart

more than your libido.

If orgasms were all

but he opens more. 

You bloom for him

and it is heaven

He didn't mean to 

fall so deep,

into your love

he didn't want to leave

To have and to hold 

someone--anyone

Always running,

relationship after relationship,

back to his

dream too good to be true.

Come to your senses,

fantasy girl.

Those pieces of you

from that place 

yearning to lay

all of your being

down--

they're safe.

He gets you.

He'll get you some more,

and you'll give him some more,

until who knows?

You find your one,

or he finds someone

not to run from.

Until then

it's a good thing.

Pain Management

When they couldn't sedate me

And needed to cut strips of flesh

From my eyelid, I heard the sizzle

Smelled the scalpel burning as it sliced

And glimpsed the steam rising

Through a peephole under the

Sterile towel tent covering my face

Flesh harvested from my top eyelid 

Was grafted into the cavern under my bottom eyelid 

The pit left from digging the cancer out was filled

123 tiny stitches and bandage later, they taped an ice bag

To my head. I was warned when the Lidocaine wore off

It would hurt like hell

I lied--that I would drive straight back to the hotel

And even though the rain was pouring, I could still see

Well enough with one eye 

Until about 60 miles down I-80

Burning hot all consuming hell, stabbing, sharp, wish I were dead

So I pulled over at a Wendover casino.

To kill the pain

As long as I'm drinking and gambling, life doesn't hurt.

And it faded away until it really wasn't there 

Enough for me to sober up and get back in my truck 

A little poorer--but having money

Never made me happy.

Having you, did. 

My emergency contact. 

Someone to drive me home, 

Pathetic that this is your poem

You are not a bad person.

You give yourself away.

You take yourself back.

And that's alright

I take myself back, too

And once again, there's no emergency contact

And no one to drive me home

And I wish you had a better poem

Than this I'm-hurt-you-should-feel-sorry-for-me

Attempt to what? Get you back? No-no-no

Don't know what you were, or why you were

But you had to be removed

Just like the cancer in my eye--you had  to go

It's not pretty and leaves a big hole

That some other part of me must fill

It's an uncomfortable operation 

That  recovering from hurts

And there's nobody to drive me home

But I've been through so much worse

I'm happy to turn the page.

If there's something better for you

There's something better for me

Something better than this 

Pain management poem.

That you will never read, but somehow

Makes me feel better

Adios, Felicia 

this hard road

You and I have never 

Been together 

anytime

anywhere

ever

in this life

Yet at the end of this hard road

I love you

you're my home

every time

every place 

everywhere I go

and I know that you know

all I want is to find you 

at the end of this hard road

my blanket of stars my glowing moon

I hold you I feel you I drink you

everywhere I go

your spirit is my home

all alone always with you

and I know that you know

all I want is to find you 

at the end of this hard road

left it all to be on my own

to chase the wind

my heart of gold

the one I've always

never known

and I know that you know

all I want is to find you 

at the end of this hard road

In another life 

we touched the stars

flesh consuming  soul burning

love on fire nuclear infinity

fusion and fission elemental energy

life giving life

somewhere in that long ago

spirits fused together

 

now atoms blown apart

drift slowly back together

and I know that you know

all I want is to find you 

at the end of this hard road

To see your soul

I put a keyboard to my head

To see your soul,

Hear your heart,

And touch your thoughts.

I hit return

My brain explodes

And you don't matter

Any

More

Thirty Years

Girl it's been a long time--sorry to make you wait

But this heart is a like a tired old freight train

And it's going to take some time to unwind

I've been staring out the door of this box car
As the world rolls away think'n why a man 

wants to be lonely and loves the sky so grey

And you know what babe? It's not that

I don't love you. It's not that I don't care

It's just everything I've been through 

To get to here from there

I've chugged through all these hose-stop towns

Climbed o'er every mountain pass
A blanket of stars when the sun goes down
Tucked in that mournful whistle blast

With the moon as my mistress every night
Sweet companion wherever I roam
Thoughts travel on rails so straight and so right
I am least lonely when I'm alone

For thirty years --you know it was  true
Even the thirty  --I spent with her

Now all that's left I give to you

Am I'm sure that I'm sure that I'm sure

You are my Angel from Montgomery

My something to hold on to song

You are that missing part of me

When everything else is gone

I'm gonna get back on this train tonight

And travel with the big fat moon

It's been this way all of my life

But I'll be coming to see you soon

Yeah... I'm coming to see you soon

For Better or Worse

Coyote pale as a ghost
In my halogen beams
Two green Christmas lights
Staring back at me
In the middle of main street
Like you did 12 years and
700 miles ago
You good bad omen
What does it mean this time
For better or worse
Right

It gets better 

and 

It gets worse
I know